Motherfluffer!

01/31/2011

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the diamonds of despair
For those of you with a keen eye or a crappy old house--yep, that's ice dam #3.  She sprouted today in a third room, just above a lovely framed pencil and parchment portrait of Jesus With Baby Lamb, and left murky rivulets running down JC's cheeks.  Too bad I'm not Catholic because I have no stirring whatsoever inside me that I have witnessed a miracle.

Gold medal, gold stars and novenas to my friend Becky, who posed this question as to why the sky may be falling around here.  Hub wondered if I might have done damage up there waiting for helicopters during the Bush administration, but I'm not allowed to talk about that.
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February Webrary

01/30/2011

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Whew, that's a tongue-twister!

Well, February being the month of love (Valentine's Day)...um, and groundhogs, I guess...I have decided to regularly focus on something I love with abandon: books (no offense, Hub, Roo, Toe, Skeeter, Birdie and y'all). Not just any books, neither, but books from the independent publishers and bookstores of the Midwest Bookseller's Association (since if there is anything better than love it is local, non-corporate love).

So, check out the webrary this month for frequent additions of good reads with that downhome, down-with-The-Man flair. And share your booklove, too (my gawd, that's what the "comments" section is for, people)!
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Our Autism Odyssey: thinking outside the lunchbox

01/30/2011

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dolled-up Toe Food: broccoli trees, sugar sparkle strawberries, 'squashed' peanut butter filled bread sticks, yummy yogurt-curry dipping suace, juice and protein bar (plus cheerfully enticing puppy
Roo, he's happy to eat a flotilla of stale cheerios out of yesterday's cereal bowl. A yogurt raisin the broom missed under the table.  Something he nabbed from a distracted elder's plate during a church basement potluck.

Toe, not so much.

You know how people say their kids are "finicky" or "picky eaters?" Well how about if your child backs away from the table screaming "Wwwwwwhy?!?!" every time you serve noodles? Or if anything crunchy in your child's food elicits an immediate gag-spit and the response, "Nasty, there's dirt in it!" Sigh.

I just recently cajoled Toe into taking his first taste (yes, at 6 yrs old, his FIRST) of ice cream by "blowing on it to make it warm."

Atypical eating behaviors occur in 3 out of every 4 autistic kids, so, Toe's just living the life.  He has what I would consider the worst possible combo of all ASD eating behaviors--food faddism coupled with textural intolerance--which makes for a kid who can stand eating only abut 10 things and considers only about 3 of those 10 desirable. 

Did you know you can hide pureed ham inside a PB sandwich with little detection? Did you know you can add winter squash to chocolate frosting and put nearly a full ground raw carrot into a single cupcake?  As far as Toe food goes, I am a master of disguise, bait-and-switch, parental persuasion and (junior)molecular gastronomy.

One of my Big Brave Goals for 2011 (I don't do "resolutions") has been to gather new tools and techniques for helping Toe expand his dietary repertoire and be more adventureous with food.  A lot of my inspiration has come from Japanese style children's cuisine (which combines high nutrition, whole foods and attractive, kid-friendly presentation) so I call this my Bento Box Initiative.
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one of my guidebooks in yum yum
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festive animal food picks dress up the firghtening pale complexion of the turkey breast roll-up
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with these handy molds, rice grains go from looking like 'crawly bug things' to adorable little cakes (works also for modling eggs!)
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why have a square sandwich when you can have a 'DC 10 falling out of the sky' sandwich with these handy cutters?
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who besides Mommy (and a professional food stylist earning $100K) can turn a radish into a rose, or aa cucumber into a plae green flock of doves?
Lucky for us, with all the early intervention (read: Mommy's covert ops), Tovi has been able to stay just above the "underweight" cutoff for his age and Viking height without much supplemental nutrition (occasional past stints of lquid protein drinks are a nightmarish memory and another blog altogther), and as a smart boy he grows more and more understanding of the biology of eating, and of the need to try more foods every day. My goal this year, now that Toe is in full day kindergarten, is to make school lunch time (a tricky and somewhat overlooked part of the autistic child's school day) as normal, stress-free and enjoyable as it can be for my little nibbler.
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yes, kittylover Toe has A LOT in common with a Japanese schoolgirl
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my home has become God's urinal

01/26/2011

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Have you missed me? Wonder where I've been for the past couple of days?  At the movies.  At a horror movie, actually, a reality one (and I don't just mean watching the Michele Bachman's State of the Union rebuttal bafoonery or Tim Pawlenty's new God complex self-promo teaser).

Behold, Ice Dam 2: The Sequel.
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heavenly prostate trouble?
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tick tock drip drop
Normally a little worldly thing like structural collapse of my family home wouldn't bother me too much.  But with 2 young active children, two dogs, limited space, and one room already looking like this:
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come dine with us--NOT
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God is seeping through the cracks (our ceiling)
..and mix in a couple of cranky, slowwwww construction workers, plastic sheeting everywhere and the rank smells of a dissolving river floe and rotting wood, well you have yourself a bit of a pity party.

I have so many other interesting things to tell you, I really do, but crap if I can remember them right now.  Let's just try for tomorrow. Word.
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lil' Pinchas

01/24/2011

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Roo plays 'Ode to Paleontology'
Toe may sing, pelvic tilt and rock out the gansta beat with his "fire guitar," but Roo is a little more classical minded.  After weeks of listening to him schreechingly drag a wooden dowel across the strings of a toy guitar and proclaim, "I'm violinning!" our nerves and parental backbones were frazzled. A little research and resourcefulness led us to a $14 learning violin by a local children's music manufacturer, that teaches the fingering, chin cradling and bow techniques of true violin play to the preschooler, while a battery-operated component rewards him and all involved with a tonally pleasing "song."

Ah, where good technology and parenting meet.  Play it, Pinkie!
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'violinning' tickles!
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the unbearable unreasonableness of being

01/23/2011

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LEGO therapy allows for a sculptural expression of 'the news blues'
I have the late January crankies, also known as acute "LJC."  This is an epidemic, although little-researched condition whose symptoms include weather intolerance, rampant unreasonableness, physical inertia, snarky verbalizations (which, in extreme forms, can sometimes be confused with tourettes syndrome), wiseacre-ing, IPS (irritable pet syndrome--this is where anything your normally loveable dog/cat/lizard does makes you want to put a sack over its head, drive it deep into the frozen wilderness and leave it for dead) and the inability to conduct personal grooming. Millions suffer in silence.

While having morning tea with my adorable and large-with-child friend Megan (and her angelic 3 yr old daughter, Nori)yesterday, I realized I was in stage 4 "self-imploding" malignant phase of the crankies when I found myself envying Megan's possession of brutal pregger hormones.  She has a built-in rollercoaster-mood scapegoat for her unreasonableness, should she choose to employ it (and the sweet-tempered little biaytch didn't, don't you know). Le sigh. Megan always cheers me up and makes me laugh, that ho. If only she knew I was shredding pages of Nori's Hello, Kitty! coloring book under the table.

At any rate, consider this a PSA for acute LJC, and be on lookout for the listed signs of unreasonableness in your loved ones.  If you think you or someone you know is suffering, immediately take your bed with a comic novel, TV on DVD, full fat cocoa products and some essential oils to throw visitors off your unwashed smell.  Wait there until the thaw.

Signs you may be morbidly unreasonable:
1. Demanding the CDC fund further study of  "skin transplants" because you have the itchies and "after all it is the largest organ in the body."
2. Ordering your beagle to "scratch more quietly" or "you will be brisket."
3.  Shaving your head because of "that damn static."
4.  Cursing Skadi, the Norse goddess of snow and winter, even in the presence of your pastor.
5. Expecting your culinarily-limited hubby to "get in the kitchen and whip up some delicious Thai street food for dinner" when you're pretty sure the only thing left in the fridge is a couple of eggs, a bottle of liquid children's antibiotics and some rice vinegar.

I'm fully expecting I may get the shaft come Valentine's day, which I will completely deserve.

 
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Science F(l)air

01/20/2011

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If you have a child or you were a child (post circa 1975) you probably know that school Science Fair season is upon us.  A time to turn your minds to the merits of empirical observation, the workings of the natural world, the scientific method. Make your shopping lists for poster board, batteries, glue, pipe cleaners, baking soda, tin foil, graphing paper, beakers, embalming fluid and brown likker (that last one is for the "helping" parents).

Toe, a dedicated rock hound (where'd he get that from?) is gonna get his geek on with a geology disply.  As a very visual child, he is keenly skilled at discussing the apparent differences between "sedemanarry" "engine-ous" and "meffamorhouse" rocks. He is also well-versed on glacial agates of the Great Lakes, geodes, fossils, gemstones and "sparkly kinds of jewely rocks."  It should be fun. Should.  Should be.

Here are some Science Fair projects that have inspired me in my job as Mommy, assistant to Toe, and parental clown:
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Spice Boy

01/19/2011

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damn dam damage

01/18/2011

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visit lovely 'Edgerton Falls;' complimentary vinyl poncho provided
You know, back-to-school-Tuesday after a long holiday weekend with a routine-dependent autistic kindergartener and a cabin fevery 4 yr old is always such a pleasure, why not add structural home collapse for flavor?  It's always good to try something new.

Hub is convinced the fact that we actually went out with friends twice this weekend (twice in one day, let alone twice in one month)--sans enfants--has pulled at a vital thread in the fragile fabric of the time-space continuum of our existence (and now we will suffer the consequences by watching our universe slowly unravel--beginning with our roof).  Granted, Hub was holding up our dining room ceiling at 4 a.m. with his hands while standing on a rickety stepladder (as I frantically threw hundreds of volumes of our library, along with sensitive electronic data and photo albums, into Rubbermaid tubs to protect them from the emergence of Niagara II) as he said it.  He may have been overreacting.

This...
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becomes this...
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because of this...
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...which can sometimes lead to this...
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...or even this...
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I dunno, we'll see. The place in that last picture is looking like an awfully cozy little place to live right now.
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Happy "MILK" day

01/17/2011

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'SnowBee' by Toe
Toe looked at the calendar last night and said, "Why is tomorrow "milk day?"  So much for public schooling.  Well, at least Martin got that part of his dream where "little black boys and little black girls can join hands with little white boys and little white girls." At least in my neighborhood that's true. But Martin really didn't get much else of his dream yet.

Not this part:
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

Not this part:
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

Not this one:
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

Nor this one:
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

We have to work on that. Toe and I talked about MLK day, and what it really doesn't have to do with milk.  How it really has to do with what we hope for.  How we work hard to love and respect everyone--even though we are sad that the world is not a nice place, we keep going and praying that what we do will someday make it more like God intended it to be for everyone.

Toe said, "So, it's like the bees who fly in the snow and it's cold, but they wish it was summer and everybody was warm, but they are flying and making honey for their bee kids." 

And I said, "exactly."
 
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