Headless Roo proudly presents his unholy public school artwork
Here’s the Heathen Holiday Weekend News from the BCD Haus…
1. The curse of the disappearing…er, stuff.
In the last 36 hours the following items have “vaporized” from their appointed place in our homes: Mommy’s razor sharp prized paring knife, Tovi’s favorite “Rubber Buzz” Buzz Lightyear doll, the DVD Backyardigans Super Secret Super Spy, and the sentimentally cherished red rubber ball of our long-dead beloved dog “Biscuit.” Who hooo hooo’s to blame?!?
2. The Friday-ween Miracle.
TRUE STORY. While sorting through the lads’ laboriously overgrown craft tub yesterday afternoon, I heard a mighty roar and glanced out to the window to see a car barreling down the sidewalk in front of our house at high speed. It clipped an SUV (not ours for once) parked at the corner, hopped the curb (taking half a heavy steel No Parking sign with it), zoomed through our and Crazy Farmer neighbor Amy’s front yards, and narrowly missed a crew two houses down putting on a new roof. Without stopping, it then bounced back onto the street, stalled out briefly, and with 3 flat tires started up again and tore away from the scene leaving behind only skid marks, scarred tree trunks, broken branches, and a flattened, tire-marked political lawn ad (which we are calling the “stigmata of the Dayton sign”). Miracle? Well, no one was hurt or killed, and if you saw the narrow space through which the car traveled without hitting house, our cars, giant rock, tree or any person head on, you’d be befuddled.
1. The curse of the disappearing…er, stuff.
In the last 36 hours the following items have “vaporized” from their appointed place in our homes: Mommy’s razor sharp prized paring knife, Tovi’s favorite “Rubber Buzz” Buzz Lightyear doll, the DVD Backyardigans Super Secret Super Spy, and the sentimentally cherished red rubber ball of our long-dead beloved dog “Biscuit.” Who hooo hooo’s to blame?!?
2. The Friday-ween Miracle.
TRUE STORY. While sorting through the lads’ laboriously overgrown craft tub yesterday afternoon, I heard a mighty roar and glanced out to the window to see a car barreling down the sidewalk in front of our house at high speed. It clipped an SUV (not ours for once) parked at the corner, hopped the curb (taking half a heavy steel No Parking sign with it), zoomed through our and Crazy Farmer neighbor Amy’s front yards, and narrowly missed a crew two houses down putting on a new roof. Without stopping, it then bounced back onto the street, stalled out briefly, and with 3 flat tires started up again and tore away from the scene leaving behind only skid marks, scarred tree trunks, broken branches, and a flattened, tire-marked political lawn ad (which we are calling the “stigmata of the Dayton sign”). Miracle? Well, no one was hurt or killed, and if you saw the narrow space through which the car traveled without hitting house, our cars, giant rock, tree or any person head on, you’d be befuddled.
3. Ghoulish goodies.
Teachers give out some interestingly creepy treats these days.
Teachers give out some interestingly creepy treats these days.
edible embryonic candy lizard in mock formeldahyde
yummy
4. Kitties on the prowl.
Once again, Toe will be Toe, and has determined he will dress up as his imaginary black cat friend “Cleveland” for trick-or-treats. Roo has followed suit in his own more untamed, manly manner with the decision to be a “fluffy lion.” Both costumes come cheaply, as the masks are repurposed from the lads’ Curious George Zoo game (bonus!), tails were brutally harvested from cast-off plushies (via Mommy’s kitchen shears), and the rest of the costumes are animal color-appropriate fleeces the lads had anyway. Meeeooooow! Toe and Roo have spent much of their recent pre-Halloween time dressing up in their costumes and “shooting” each other with their foam rubber plinko flinger “gun.”
5. The traffic of American commercial gluttony.
You heard it first here, friends, a year ago, and now it’s in the “real” news. Spooky Saturday (the weekend before Halloween) has replaced Black Friday as the official start to the crazy conspicuous Holiday shopping glut. If you’ve already been getting those midnight madness and toyfest sale flyers in the mail or spent 30 minutes in freakishly heavy traffic just trying to get past the mall to the pet food store, this is why. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and apparently he is on duty! Now you can roll your shopping needs for the Day of the Undead, Thanksgiving and Jesus’ holy birthday all into one “season” of ka-ching!
Mwahhh hahhh hahhh…whatever.
Once again, Toe will be Toe, and has determined he will dress up as his imaginary black cat friend “Cleveland” for trick-or-treats. Roo has followed suit in his own more untamed, manly manner with the decision to be a “fluffy lion.” Both costumes come cheaply, as the masks are repurposed from the lads’ Curious George Zoo game (bonus!), tails were brutally harvested from cast-off plushies (via Mommy’s kitchen shears), and the rest of the costumes are animal color-appropriate fleeces the lads had anyway. Meeeooooow! Toe and Roo have spent much of their recent pre-Halloween time dressing up in their costumes and “shooting” each other with their foam rubber plinko flinger “gun.”
5. The traffic of American commercial gluttony.
You heard it first here, friends, a year ago, and now it’s in the “real” news. Spooky Saturday (the weekend before Halloween) has replaced Black Friday as the official start to the crazy conspicuous Holiday shopping glut. If you’ve already been getting those midnight madness and toyfest sale flyers in the mail or spent 30 minutes in freakishly heavy traffic just trying to get past the mall to the pet food store, this is why. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and apparently he is on duty! Now you can roll your shopping needs for the Day of the Undead, Thanksgiving and Jesus’ holy birthday all into one “season” of ka-ching!
Mwahhh hahhh hahhh…whatever.
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