wheel of cheese

wheel of cheese 01/19/2012

Every January I give up cheese. It's not a resolution, it's not because I was bullied into doing so by a horrifying cheese-hater's shame campaign, it's just after the holidays signifies to me the need to put an end to "cheese season" (otherwise known as September-December, when my willpower wears thin and again I find myself in human bondage to the wiles of cheese). Cheese is my one of my best friends and truest loves, part of the colorful fabric of our national history, my gateway drug, life-altering, salty, gluten-free, gloriously diverse, a local delicacy, almost holy...mmmm, melty.

What was I saying?

Also, this year, Roo (fellow cheese champion) will be giving up cheese during a 4-month trial elimination period of food allergens and intolerances, to see if that resolves his chronic eosinophilic espophagitis (also known in this blog as "SPED" or "Spontaneous Puking Events Disorder"). Toe, who finds cheese repulsive(unless you consider this cheese), has long been allergic to cow's milk and is therefore dairy-free. So, short of becoming one of those parents who has to go out with friends or hide in her room to score some cheese, cheese is out. Farewell, you beautiful, edible bacterial process.

Things Roo and I plan to do when we have the "cheese blues" (a list of jointly-created compromises):

--eat another of our favorite treats, namely frozen strawberries dipped in pure cane sugar (just because Paula Dean is diabetic doesn't mean we have to give up the pipe)

--"maybe jus' lick it" (~Roo)

--say a prayer

--talk trash about Wisconsin

--think of cows pooping

--play with PlayDoh to busy our hands; make faux cheese or maybe models of superheroes who have the power to endure cheeselessness

--cry ourselves to sleep

Wish us luck!